I am like a bird.. I will soar across oceans.
Oceans of joy as well as oceans of misery.

I am a wolf.. I will be wild and free.
I will be fierce.I will be me. Nothing can hold me back or tie me down or keep me grounded.
I am as light as a will’ o the wisp. I am joy. I am love.


Divine Love

A while ago, I did a skit based on a story about Krishna. I loved this story because I’m really captivated by grand, soul-stirring love stories in general. I’ve been trying to look it up online, to find out where it came from, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. The story goes something like this (from what I can remember of it):

One day, Narada(celestial disciple) asks Krishna “who loves you the most?”. Narada, being such a devout disciple expects him to say his name. However, Krishna says, “Radha loves me the most.” Narada cannot believe this since Radha is just a milkmaid, not even his wife or worshipper of Krishna.

Some time later, Narada goes to Krishna’s home to visit him. He finds Krishna lying down in pain due to a headache. Narada can’t bear to see him in that way and asks him what he can do to help. Krishna smiles and says there is nothing he can do for him. He must bear the pain himself. However, Narada keeps insisting, so finally Krishna says, “fine, the only way you can relieve my pain is by wiping the dust from your feet and rubbing it on my forehead”. This shocks Narada because he knows it’s a grave sin to disrespect Krishna and there is no way he can do that, as it would lead to karmic retribution. Later on Krishna’s wife Rukmini comes to him in deep sadness for his pain and tells him she would do anything to alleviate it. Krishna tells her the only way is to take the dirt from her feet and rub it on his forehead. She also cannot do that, Krishna being not only a god but also her own husband. It would be considered highly disrespectful. Then, Sathyabhama comes over and she also faces the same dilemma. Finally Radha comes to see Krishna and he tells her the same thing. Radha, without hesitating, takes the dust from her feet to rub on his forehead. Krishna is instantly relieved and cured. Krishna looks at Narada and says “you see, it is Radha who loves me the most!”.

Basically, the story goes to show that Narada being a disciple of Krishna, expects some kind spiritual growth when worshipping him. Whether its material wealth or spiritual wealth, whenever we pray we want or expect something from god.

Whereas Radha’s love for Krishna is so unconditional and pure that she didn’t care even for her own spiritual destruction or karma. She loves him so wholly and selflessly that she expects nothing from him. Although she does not explicitly worship or pray to him, her heart is filled with so much of love for him that her every breath and action becomes a prayer. For that, she has a permanent place in Krishna’s heart.

This story really touched me and I remembered it again after a long time today. In the skit, I played one of his wives… Rukmini I think. 😅

However I can’t seem to trace it from anywhere! Does anybody know what the original source of this story is or the right version?

Sex, alcohol, drugs and Arjun Reddy

I just watched the telugu movie Arjun Reddy, and I must say, even before watching it I was pretty curious to watch it just from the teasers, trailers, posters and general hysteria. Also Vijay Devarakonda is cute, cannot lie.

Im not a huge fan of telugu cinema but I’m loving how the telugu movie industry is redefining its image lately, and steering away from mainstream clichés and ideologies that have plagued it.

I knew before going in to the threatre this movie was going to be bold, but I wasn’t expecting the pace and this level of intensity. Right from the opening shot, the scene shows Vijay and a girl lying naked in bed, covered in white sheets, on a four-poster bed in the middle of what appears to be a beach. It was a bizarre image yet serene and beautiful. Almost calming. And that’s what I loved about this movie. None of the kissing or sex scenes were overtly erotic or sexualized. There was nothing dirty or vulgar about it. All the scenes were meaningful and beautiful.

It made me think how ironic it is that this movie got an adult or A rating wheres in other mainstream Indian movies there is so much violence, gore, objectfication of women and even rape scenes and yet they get a U/A rating and we let kids watch that stuff like it’s no big deal.

ew. Gross.

Arjun Reddy features two consenting adults in an intimate relationship and everybody loses their minds.


How is it that we have become so desensitized towards violence yet can’t handle even a little bit of intimacy?

I think the whole problem stems from the fact that in India, the idea of purity is reduced to virginity. When really there is so much more to it like purity of the heart, mind and soul. We cheapen the whole idea of purity when we say purity = virginity. And according to society the onus of remaining pure falls on women. But I digress. This is a topic for another post ☺

Coming back to the movie, yes, there is a lot of making out. And sex. And throughout nearly the whole second half of the film, he is high. On coke, weed. And I don’t know what else. I felt the second half of the film was too long, but I understand that the director probably wanted to show the whole process of grief and heartbreak Arjun was going through. The length of the film certainly draws you into the story and makes you connect with the characters.

What I loved about Arjun’s character is that he was so realistic (in the sense that there was some aspect of him that almost anyone can relate to) but at the same time somehow larger than life.

That being said, it must be noted that I don’t agree with the decisions he took or his lifestyle. He is, in fact, a complete psychopath, but arnt they all like that? The dominant obsessive love struck characters are all a bit psychotic, whether it’s Christian Gray or heathcliffe or Jay Gatsby. That’s what makes them so.. juicy.

Merhaba Internetten Halki

Neden sen türkçe konuşmaya başladın?!
Gizli bir Türk sevgilin var mi?
Türkiye'ye taşincek misin?
...yoksa sen tamamen deli mi?

Yok annem! sakin ol! ben deli değilim.
Gerceklik? Benim çok fazla zamanim var...

So I have been learning Turkish for the past few months. 
And it all started when I came across this show called 'Al Yazmalim'(or The Girl with the Red Scarf). It was this romantic drama about two young people from the Turkish countryside. The show was alright plot wise, but somehow, I found myself getting hooked to it.
Eventually I got up to episode three I think, before 'Gaaspp, no more subtitles'. I was watching it on Youtube and could not find subtitles ANYWHERE after the third episode, which if you ask me, is probably the most evil thing that someone could do.
I mean if I had known that there were only subtitles until the third episode I wouldn't have started watching in the first place! Now how do I get to know what happened to Asiye and Ilyas? If they were torn apart by their family or did they finally get together?
After contemplating the situation, I came to the obvious conclusion that all that was left for me to do is to learn Turkish. So I went on Duolingo and have been hacking away at it for a few months now. 
I've also gotten hooked on other Turkish TV shows. My favorite by far is 'Kara Para Aşk'.It has suspense, romance, crime and drama.. the whole works. I've finished watching the entire series and I absolutely loved it. Ne harika bir dizi! Cok sevdim! And recently I've started watching 'Babacan Dir' which is lighter and more of a rom-com. 
Turkish culture is quite similar to Indian culture and its language similar to Indian languages yet their TV shows are about a billion times better.
As far as learning Turkish goes, I have progressed a lot, but my goal is to be able to watch and understand the show without subtitles.
I did that with the pakistani show 'Zindagi Gulzar hai' and was surprised to find that I understood Urdu.. 

Letting Go

Dimpled cheeks,

rosy lips,

curly hair,

very fair,

Like the nursery rhyme,

Innocence was carved on his face


A knight in shining armour,

A grizzly bear,

Thor’s hammer,

and Poseidon’s hair,

Thunder met lightning

                  As he lifted her in the air


He swept her off her feet,

   He placed her on a crag,

      high above the clouds,

         Where no one could find them,

      Not even the crows he avowed


As he held her hand,

He whispered, ‘don’t let go’,

But she took a step back,

And they both fell hard,

Into the abyss below




That Time Grandma Was Possessed

About one month back, I went to visit my grandmother’s native village along with my family. While we were there, we went to a cousin’s neighboring village. This visit rehashed a strange, creepy incident that occurred with my grandmother when she was a little girl. Both my dad and my grandma told me this story many times before, but this time it was almost surreal because we were all gathered around in the very house where it happened.

The story goes like this…

When my grandma was a little girl of about 6 or 7, she went to the neighboring village for a relative’s wedding. It was a small village and nearly everyone knew each other so it was normal to pay a visit to all the houses. So they (my grandma and her mom) happened to visit a family friend’s house.

As soon as she entered the house, her behavior changed. She became lively and she went around to all the family members in that house and addressed them by name calling them ‘aunt’ or ‘uncle’ and ‘grandpa’. She had never been to that house before.

At first, people thought that someone must have told her all their names and she was just being an excited little girl. But gradually, they started to worry and the worry turned into full-blown panic as she began describing, in detail, certain events that happened in that family that she would have no way of knowing. She went around the house exclaiming ‘this is my bedroom!’ ‘this is the garden’ and ‘this is the well where we used to play!’.  She told one of the women, ‘I was there at your wedding, remember?’. She hadn’t even been born at the time of the wedding. Yet she described these events in first person, as though she was actually there. People tried to reason with her, including her mother; but her behavior was so strange, its like she was possessed.

Her sudden, strange and inexplicable behavior continued and nobody knew what to do. This was during the fifties in a village in India, so they went and fetched the village priest/shaman of sorts… basically a witch doctor. He hypnotized her and made her fall asleep. When she woke up, she couldn’t remember a thing. She was back to normal and had no memory of the things she said.

Interestingly, in that same house, a girl had drowned in the well and died. This happened exactly seven years ago. Although my grandmother never had that experience again, to this day, the family of the dead girl truly believe that their daughter had been reincarnated. As my grandmother.

I’m getting goosebumps as I type this. Creepy…

I have read about souls being reincarnated and being drawn to certain people or places from their previous births and I’m not alarmed by it. But this incident is unnerving because it happened within my own family and its just so graphic.

That being said, here is the view from the front yard of grandparents’ house: 🙂

Period Dramas Are LIFE

When you are someone like me who has an obsession with historical fiction, where would you be without period dramas?!

I made a comprehensive list of period dramas by chronological time periods. I have watched a few of these but not all. Some of these are more popular (Downton Abbey, Mad Men) while there are some really great underrated series too. Not gonna lie though, some of these are downright cheezy and may not even be historically accurate. But who cares?! I’ll take a dashing Mr. Darcy in his breeches sipping tea by a quaint thicket in his lavish garden any day.


Spartacus: War of the Damned (2010) 100BC-71BC
Rome (2005) 50BC-30BC


Vikings (2013) 793
The Last Kingdom (2015) 872
Marco Polo (2014) 1271-1368


The White Queen (2013) 1464
Isabel (2012) 1472-1492
Da Vinci’s Demons (2013) 1470s
The Borgias (2011) 1492


The Tudors (2007) 1525-1540s
Wolf Hall (2015) 1500-1535
Reign (2013) 1542-1560


Black Sails (2014) 1715
Poldark (2015) 1780s
Banished (2015) 1788
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (2015) early 1800s
The Red and the Black (1993) 1814-1830


Great Expectations (2011) 1812
To the Ends of the Earth (2005) 1812
Garrow’s Law (2009) 1810s-1820s
Vanity Fair (1998) 1811-1820
Lost in Austen (2008) 1811-1820
Pride and Prejudice (1995) 1810s
Emma (2009) 1810s


Martin Chuzzlewit (1994) 1842
Cranford (2007) 1840s
North and South (2004) 1840s
Wives and Daughters (1999) 1840s
Jane Eyre (2006) 1840s
Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1996) 1848
Bleak House (2005) 1852-1853
Little Doorit (2008) 1855-1857
Desperate Romantics (2009) 1850s
Doctor Thorne (2016) 1850s
Daniel Deronda (2002) 1865
He Knew He Was Right (2004) 1860s
The Way We Live Now (2001) 1870s
The Buccaneers (1995) 1870s
Tess of the D’Urbervilles (2008) 1870s
The Paradise (2012) 1890
Murdoch Mysteries (2008) 1890s
Lark Rise to Candleford (2008) end of 19th century

The Forsyte Saga (1968) 1886-1936
The Forsyte Saga (2002)


Underground (2016) 1857
Copper (2012) 1860s
Deadwood (2004) 1876


The Knick (2014) 1900
Berkeley Square (1998) 1902
Mr. Selfridge early (2013) 1900s
Another Period (2015) 1900-1910
When Calls the Heart (2014) 1910


Parade’s End (2012) 1914-1918 (WW1)
Downton Abbey (2010) 1910s-1920s

THE 20s

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (2012) 1920s
The House of Elliot (1991) 1920s
Little Doorit (2008) 1920s
The Grand (1997) 1920s
Downton Abbey (2010) 1910s-1920s


Boardwalk Empire (2010)  1920-1933 (Prohibitionist era)

THE 30s

South Rising (2011) 1930s
Mildred Pierce (2011) 1931
Dancing on the Edge (2013) 1930s
Poirot (1989) 1932-1936
Upstairs Downstairs (2010) 1936


Indian Summers (2015) 1932
The Jewel in the Crown (1984) 1942


Home Fires (2015) 1939-1940
Island of War (2004) 1940s
Land Girls (2009) 1940s

THE 50s

Call the Midwife (2012) 1950s
The Bletchley Circle (2012) 1952-1953
A Place to Call Home (2013) 1950s
The Hour (2012) 1950s
Masters of Sex (2013) 1950s-1960s

THE 60s

Pan Am (2011) 1960s
Our Mutual Friend (1998) 1960s
Mad Men (2007) 1960s


I will keep updating this list as I discover new shows. Maybe get around to watching them.

There are many period dramas from other languages and cultures too, but I haven’t ventured there yet. Also I am very tempted to put Arthur on this list but I don’t think it qualifies as a period drama..

So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen

No, I’m not actually going anywhere. But Its that time of year again! You know.. the end of the academic year. For me, the end of my B.Tech days. The end of four years of the drama that comes as part and parcel of being an engineering student in India.

Its also the time of tearful goodbyes, bear hugs(even that random guy in your class you spoke to once in your lifetime), farewell pictures with vintage-y filters and extra-long posts on Facebook detailing your nostalgia and proclaiming the everlasting bond you share with your friends.

Something along the lines of…

What an awsum 4 yrs of dosti, masti, freindship, love and hartbreakk! I can not forget all the crazy stuffs we been through and highs and lows shared with my bestieeeees < 3 < 3!! Yea guys, ve can never get this time back..gonna remember dis COLLEGE DAYS for rest of our lyf!! I’ll nvr forget this place… our sweet home… though many complaints LOL (bintuu)!!! 😉 we are finally ‘engineers’ LOL we did it guys!!!! Ve all gonna be friends 4 lyf.. mwwahhh. I am missing this alreadyy.. I will treasure dese special moments and just remember guyss.. no regrets! All of us will be busy with our lives and stress over jobs and and career and dose times we will look back at our college days and it will put a smile on our face.  :-)#farewelll #finalyear #missing scene’s#collegelyf #friendship #engineers #bestieees #BFFFFsss #letsrock and so on and so forth…

Now its all “yes lets totally be friends forever, we are definitely going to keep in touch(duh) because theres email and facebook and whatsapp and skype, definitely going to have an awesome reunion every year no matter how busy we are with  our lives and it will be awesome and at some point take a trip around the world and we are going to kill it at your wedding and you are totally going to be my future childrens’ godparent.”

Give me a break. I’ve heard it all.

Around two months later, you get a notification from facebook saying its your classmate’s birthday. Oh yea. them. Better go send out the customary ‘Happy Birthday [insert smiley emoji]’ message, only to get a reply going ‘wait.. who are you again?’.

I’m not saying we whitewash and sugarcoat everything but suddenly its like those teachers who literally tortured us? They weren’t all that bad…In fact lets all sing ‘To sir, with love’.

That time we got suspended for protesting over gross mistreatment by management ? That was great ‘character building’.

And those rats that were running around in the hostel mess? They were more like our pets really.

Even though I may not get all sentimental and sappy (I can’t say it was the best time of my life) I must say that overall, it has been a crucial time period for me. Crazy shit has done down. True. And in the process I have learned a lot about myself. I’m happy because its also a new beginning. Working as an intern, trying to figure out what I’m going to do with myself, also going to be moving out, and for the first time.. trying to be a legit adult. Will see how this goes.

So heres a hearty farewell to what has been an eventful chapter in my life. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen. Cheers.


That being said, here is a rendition of To Sir, With Love.