Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash

Came across a new chapter of Harry Potter written using a predictive text algorithm on Botnik.org and I am both amused and amazed at how eloquent it is.

Here are some gems:

“Magic: It was something Harry Potter thought was very good.”

“Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family.”

“Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself.”

” ‘If you two can’t clump happily, I’m going to get aggressive’, confessed the reasonable Hermione. ”

” ‘What about Ron magic?’ offered Ron. To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds. ”

“Ron was going to be spiders. He just was.”

“Harry, Ron, and Hermione quietly stood behind a circle of Death eaters who looked bad.

‘I think it’s okay if you like me,’ said one Death Eater.

‘Thank you very much,’ replied the other.

The first Death Eater confidently leaned forward to plant a kiss on his cheek.

‘Oh! Well done!’ said the second as his friend stepped back again. All the other Death Eaters clapped politely. Then they all took a few minutes to go over the plan to get rid of Harry’s magic.”

“Harry could tell that Voldemort was standing right behind him. He felt a great overreaction. Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest. Voldemort raised his eyebrows at Harry, who could not see anything at the moment.”

“‘Voldemort, you’re a very bad and mean wizard,’ Harry savagely said. Hermione nodded encouragingly.”

“The tall Death Eater was wearing a shirt that said ‘Hermione Has Forgotten How To Dance,’ so Hermione dipped his face in mud.”

“The Death Eaters were dead now, and Harry was hungrier than he had ever been.”

“The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: ‘You are Hagrid, now’.”

Read it here: http://botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html

 

 

Advertisements

Digital Drainage

Ding! Ding!

I get a notification on my phone. I rush across the room to get it and excitedly unlock it.

‘Your friend Jill Walgast has just joined Instagram’.

‘KittyCuddles just started a live video. Watch it before it ends’.

Sigh.

I open Facebook to be bombarded by misogynistic memes posted by some uncle.

I then open Twitter, only to be barraged by political rants, fake news and media outrage.

I open Instagram to be swarmed by screenshots of twitter rants along with pizza memes, cats, beach photos and food all with vintage filters too!

Social media may be a powerful tool which has its redeeming benefits, yet most of the time it feels like getting to the good stuff involves wading through a cesspit of swampy digital drainage.

Two weeks ago, I uninstalled all social media apps on my phone, and now we don’t have TV at home either. I didn’t delete my accounts (I’ve tried that before) but if I need to access them, I go on my laptop. It has been absolutely blissful.

Right away, it has freed up so much of my time, especially my so-called ‘leisure time’ which started with having ‘a quick glace’ at my Instagram feed and ended up stretching to a few solid hours of mindless scrolling. And that’s the most dangerous thing about social media. The fact that it is seemingly so innocuous. I think to myself, ‘a couple of pictures and memes, how could it hurt?’ I end up filling my head with garbage and care about things that don’t matter or get outraged about small things because of the collective mob mindset.

Not having that distraction has lead me to creating more time for meditation and reading books. It has helped me direct my energies in other channels. I’m learning Android and getting things checked off my ‘Want To Try Some Day’ list. I have even started spending more time with my family. I used to be boarded up in my room a.ka. my personal cave. I didn’t like going out or talking to other humans (I will hisss at you if you attempt to start a conversation with me). Now I find myself going for long walks and even smiling at strangers! Shocking.

I’ve also noticed that I don’t get irritated as easily or react to things as I’ve done before. When I used to meditate, if someone makes even an inkling of a sound, I will rage and rain fury and wrath upon that poor person. Kind of defeats the whole purpose of meditation…

Now, I’m so zen I could probably meditate through a sandstorm in the middle of a Screamo concert. Actually probably not… Maybe a Coldplay concert..

 

 

 

 

Divine Love

A while ago, I did a skit based on a story about Krishna. I loved this story because I’m really captivated by grand, soul-stirring love stories in general. I’ve been trying to look it up online, to find out where it came from, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. The story goes something like this (from what I can remember of it):

One day, Narada(celestial disciple) asks Krishna “who loves you the most?”. Narada, being such a devout disciple expects him to say his name. However, Krishna says, “Radha loves me the most.” Narada cannot believe this since Radha is just a milkmaid, not even his wife or worshipper of Krishna.

Some time later, Narada goes to Krishna’s home to visit him. He finds Krishna lying down in pain due to a headache. Narada can’t bear to see him in that way and asks him what he can do to help. Krishna smiles and says there is nothing he can do for him. He must bear the pain himself. However, Narada keeps insisting, so finally Krishna says, “fine, the only way you can relieve my pain is by wiping the dust from your feet and rubbing it on my forehead”. This shocks Narada because he knows it’s a grave sin to disrespect Krishna and there is no way he can do that, as it would lead to karmic retribution. Later on Krishna’s wife Rukmini comes to him in deep sadness for his pain and tells him she would do anything to alleviate it. Krishna tells her the only way is to take the dirt from her feet and rub it on his forehead. She also cannot do that, Krishna being not only a god but also her own husband. It would be considered highly disrespectful. Then, Sathyabhama comes over and she also faces the same dilemma. Finally Radha comes to see Krishna and he tells her the same thing. Radha, without hesitating, takes the dust from her feet to rub on his forehead. Krishna is instantly relieved and cured. Krishna looks at Narada and says “you see, it is Radha who loves me the most!”.

Basically, the story goes to show that Narada being a disciple of Krishna, expects some kind spiritual growth when worshipping him. Whether its material wealth or spiritual wealth, whenever we pray we want or expect something from god.

Whereas Radha’s love for Krishna is so unconditional and pure that she didn’t care even for her own spiritual destruction or karma. She loves him so wholly and selflessly that she expects nothing from him. Although she does not explicitly worship or pray to him, her heart is filled with so much of love for him that her every breath and action becomes a prayer. For that, she has a permanent place in Krishna’s heart.

This story really touched me and I remembered it again after a long time today. In the skit, I played one of his wives… Rukmini I think. 😅

However I can’t seem to trace it from anywhere! Does anybody know what the original source of this story is or the right version?

Sex, alcohol, drugs and Arjun Reddy

I just watched the telugu movie Arjun Reddy, and I must say, even before watching it I was pretty curious to watch it just from the teasers, trailers, posters and general hysteria. Also Vijay Devarakonda is cute, cannot lie.

Im not a huge fan of telugu cinema but I’m loving how the telugu movie industry is redefining its image lately, and steering away from mainstream clichés and ideologies that have plagued it.

I knew before going in to the threatre this movie was going to be bold, but I wasn’t expecting the pace and this level of intensity. Right from the opening shot, the scene shows Vijay and a girl lying naked in bed, covered in white sheets, on a four-poster bed in the middle of what appears to be a beach. It was a bizarre image yet serene and beautiful. Almost calming. And that’s what I loved about this movie. None of the kissing or sex scenes were overtly erotic or sexualized. There was nothing dirty or vulgar about it. All the scenes were meaningful and beautiful.

It made me think how ironic it is that this movie got an adult or A rating wheres in other mainstream Indian movies there is so much violence, gore, objectfication of women and even rape scenes and yet they get a U/A rating and we let kids watch that stuff like it’s no big deal.

ew. Gross.

Arjun Reddy features two consenting adults in an intimate relationship and everybody loses their minds.

awww

How is it that we have become so desensitized towards violence yet can’t handle even a little bit of intimacy?

I think the whole problem stems from the fact that in India, the idea of purity is reduced to virginity. When really there is so much more to it like purity of the heart, mind and soul. We cheapen the whole idea of purity when we say purity = virginity. And according to society the onus of remaining pure falls on women. But I digress. This is a topic for another post ☺

Coming back to the movie, yes, there is a lot of making out. And sex. And throughout nearly the whole second half of the film, he is high. On coke, weed. And I don’t know what else. I felt the second half of the film was too long, but I understand that the director probably wanted to show the whole process of grief and heartbreak Arjun was going through. The length of the film certainly draws you into the story and makes you connect with the characters.

What I loved about Arjun’s character is that he was so realistic (in the sense that there was some aspect of him that almost anyone can relate to) but at the same time somehow larger than life.

That being said, it must be noted that I don’t agree with the decisions he took or his lifestyle. He is, in fact, a complete psychopath, but arnt they all like that? The dominant obsessive love struck characters are all a bit psychotic, whether it’s Christian Gray or heathcliffe or Jay Gatsby. That’s what makes them so.. juicy.

Merhaba Internetten Halki

Neden sen türkçe konuşmaya başladın?!
Gizli bir Türk sevgilin var mi?
Türkiye'ye taşincek misin?
...yoksa sen tamamen deli mi?

Yok annem! sakin ol! ben deli değilim.
Gerceklik? Benim çok fazla zamanim var...


So I have been learning Turkish for the past few months. 
And it all started when I came across this show called 'Al Yazmalim'(or The Girl with the Red Scarf). It was this romantic drama about two young people from the Turkish countryside. The show was alright plot wise, but somehow, I found myself getting hooked to it.
Eventually I got up to episode three I think, before 'Gaaspp, no more subtitles'. I was watching it on Youtube and could not find subtitles ANYWHERE after the third episode, which if you ask me, is probably the most evil thing that someone could do.
I mean if I had known that there were only subtitles until the third episode I wouldn't have started watching in the first place! Now how do I get to know what happened to Asiye and Ilyas? If they were torn apart by their family or did they finally get together?
After contemplating the situation, I came to the obvious conclusion that all that was left for me to do is to learn Turkish. So I went on Duolingo and have been hacking away at it for a few months now. 
I've also gotten hooked on other Turkish TV shows. My favorite by far is 'Kara Para Aşk'.It has suspense, romance, crime and drama.. the whole works. I've finished watching the entire series and I absolutely loved it. Ne harika bir dizi! Cok sevdim! And recently I've started watching 'Babacan Dir' which is lighter and more of a rom-com. 
Turkish culture is quite similar to Indian culture and its language similar to Indian languages yet their TV shows are about a billion times better.
As far as learning Turkish goes, I have progressed a lot, but my goal is to be able to watch and understand the show without subtitles.
I did that with the pakistani show 'Zindagi Gulzar hai' and was surprised to find that I understood Urdu.. 

Letting Go

Dimpled cheeks,

rosy lips,

curly hair,

very fair,

Like the nursery rhyme,

Innocence was carved on his face

 

A knight in shining armour,

A grizzly bear,

Thor’s hammer,

and Poseidon’s hair,

Thunder met lightning

                  As he lifted her in the air

 

He swept her off her feet,

   He placed her on a crag,

      high above the clouds,

         Where no one could find them,

      Not even the crows he avowed

 

As he held her hand,

He whispered, ‘don’t let go’,

But she took a step back,

And they both fell hard,

Into the abyss below

 

 

 

That Time Grandma Was Possessed

About one month back, I went to visit my grandmother’s native village along with my family. While we were there, we went to a cousin’s neighboring village. This visit rehashed a strange, creepy incident that occurred with my grandmother when she was a little girl. Both my dad and my grandma told me this story many times before, but this time it was almost surreal because we were all gathered around in the very house where it happened.

The story goes like this…

When my grandma was a little girl of about 6 or 7, she went to the neighboring village for a relative’s wedding. It was a small village and nearly everyone knew each other so it was normal to pay a visit to all the houses. So they (my grandma and her mom) happened to visit a family friend’s house.

As soon as she entered the house, her behavior changed. She became lively and she went around to all the family members in that house and addressed them by name calling them ‘aunt’ or ‘uncle’ and ‘grandpa’. She had never been to that house before.

At first, people thought that someone must have told her all their names and she was just being an excited little girl. But gradually, they started to worry and the worry turned into full-blown panic as she began describing, in detail, certain events that happened in that family that she would have no way of knowing. She went around the house exclaiming ‘this is my bedroom!’ ‘this is the garden’ and ‘this is the well where we used to play!’.  She told one of the women, ‘I was there at your wedding, remember?’. She hadn’t even been born at the time of the wedding. Yet she described these events in first person, as though she was actually there. People tried to reason with her, including her mother; but her behavior was so strange, its like she was possessed.

Her sudden, strange and inexplicable behavior continued and nobody knew what to do. This was during the fifties in a village in India, so they went and fetched the village priest/shaman of sorts… basically a witch doctor. He hypnotized her and made her fall asleep. When she woke up, she couldn’t remember a thing. She was back to normal and had no memory of the things she said.

Interestingly, in that same house, a girl had drowned in the well and died. This happened exactly seven years ago. Although my grandmother never had that experience again, to this day, the family of the dead girl truly believe that their daughter had been reincarnated. As my grandmother.

I’m getting goosebumps as I type this. Creepy…

I have read about souls being reincarnated and being drawn to certain people or places from their previous births and I’m not alarmed by it. But this incident is unnerving because it happened within my own family and its just so graphic.

That being said, here is the view from the front yard of grandparents’ house: 🙂