Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash

Came across a new chapter of Harry Potter written using a predictive text algorithm on Botnik.org and I am both amused and amazed at how eloquent it is.

Here are some gems:

“Magic: It was something Harry Potter thought was very good.”

“Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family.”

“Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself.”

” ‘If you two can’t clump happily, I’m going to get aggressive’, confessed the reasonable Hermione. ”

” ‘What about Ron magic?’ offered Ron. To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds. ”

“Ron was going to be spiders. He just was.”

“Harry, Ron, and Hermione quietly stood behind a circle of Death eaters who looked bad.

‘I think it’s okay if you like me,’ said one Death Eater.

‘Thank you very much,’ replied the other.

The first Death Eater confidently leaned forward to plant a kiss on his cheek.

‘Oh! Well done!’ said the second as his friend stepped back again. All the other Death Eaters clapped politely. Then they all took a few minutes to go over the plan to get rid of Harry’s magic.”

“Harry could tell that Voldemort was standing right behind him. He felt a great overreaction. Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest. Voldemort raised his eyebrows at Harry, who could not see anything at the moment.”

“‘Voldemort, you’re a very bad and mean wizard,’ Harry savagely said. Hermione nodded encouragingly.”

“The tall Death Eater was wearing a shirt that said ‘Hermione Has Forgotten How To Dance,’ so Hermione dipped his face in mud.”

“The Death Eaters were dead now, and Harry was hungrier than he had ever been.”

“The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: ‘You are Hagrid, now’.”

Read it here: http://botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html

 

 

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5 Reasons to Detest Daisy Bhuchanan

So, I watched the film The Great Gatsby (the 2013 Baz Lurhmann one) yesterday and having read the book a while back, I think the movie did a really good job of portraying it. The actors cast, including Carey Mulligan as Daisy, were great in their roles. (The music, although amazing, seemed sort of out-of-placeish for the time period:-/). That being said, the movie also reminded me of how much I detest the characters in that novel. Its hard for me to identify which character annoys me the most, but Daisy Bhuchanan would be a good bet. Here are five reasons why:

    1. She is selfish and egotistic: She falls in love with Gatsby in the first place thinking that he is rich and prestigious when he comes to her house, and later, ditches him when she finds out he is poor and marries Tom instead(who happens to be rich and in high social standing). Afterwards, when she finds out he is loaded, she starts seeing Gatsby again. But when the fact that he is not from a high status family and his past as a poor farmer’s boy is revealed, she jumps ship yet again.
    2. She knows that her husband, Tom, is having an extramarital affair, yet she chooses to ignore this, because… well, it really just boils down to the fact that he is socially prominent and rich.
    3. She lets Gatsby take the blame for the car crash: Ok, so even if she is selfish and doesn’t give a damn, if she had even an ounce of dignity or self-respect she would have confessed. Why is it okay for her to get away with it? Just because she is the ‘coveted female’, she can get away with anything gratis. Even murder, it seems. This is exactly the sort of thing I hate. Where, a guy runs around behind the unattainable ‘dream girl’ and she thinks it is her right to get all these concessions. She should have confessed. Period.
    4. She basically uses Gatsby: She knows that she isn’t going to leave her husband and marry Gatsby; she also knows how serious he is about her. Instead of being clear about her intentions, she just leads him on and toys with his emotions. “Let’s just have fun!” she says, and continues the affair with no regard whatsoever to future consequences. If she was just straight-up honest about her intentions from the beginning, it would have saved him the heartache and he might have moved on.
    5. Not only is she completely irresponsible and careless, she is also cold and heartless: I think, indirectly, but ultimately, she is to be blamed for Gatsby’s death. If she had confessed to the murder, he might still be alive. Also, instead of leaving, he stayed back in his house waiting and hoping for her phone call( which would never come of course). In the end, she just leaves, conveniently; like the whole thing is somebody else’s mess to clean up. She doesn’t even have the decency to show up at the funeral.