Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash

Came across a new chapter of Harry Potter written using a predictive text algorithm on Botnik.org and I am both amused and amazed at how eloquent it is.

Here are some gems:

“Magic: It was something Harry Potter thought was very good.”

“Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family.”

“Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself.”

” ‘If you two can’t clump happily, I’m going to get aggressive’, confessed the reasonable Hermione. ”

” ‘What about Ron magic?’ offered Ron. To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds. ”

“Ron was going to be spiders. He just was.”

“Harry, Ron, and Hermione quietly stood behind a circle of Death eaters who looked bad.

‘I think it’s okay if you like me,’ said one Death Eater.

‘Thank you very much,’ replied the other.

The first Death Eater confidently leaned forward to plant a kiss on his cheek.

‘Oh! Well done!’ said the second as his friend stepped back again. All the other Death Eaters clapped politely. Then they all took a few minutes to go over the plan to get rid of Harry’s magic.”

“Harry could tell that Voldemort was standing right behind him. He felt a great overreaction. Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest. Voldemort raised his eyebrows at Harry, who could not see anything at the moment.”

“‘Voldemort, you’re a very bad and mean wizard,’ Harry savagely said. Hermione nodded encouragingly.”

“The tall Death Eater was wearing a shirt that said ‘Hermione Has Forgotten How To Dance,’ so Hermione dipped his face in mud.”

“The Death Eaters were dead now, and Harry was hungrier than he had ever been.”

“The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: ‘You are Hagrid, now’.”

Read it here: http://botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html

 

 

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Divine Love

A while ago, I did a skit based on a story about Krishna. I loved this story because I’m really captivated by grand, soul-stirring love stories in general. I’ve been trying to look it up online, to find out where it came from, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. The story goes something like this (from what I can remember of it):

One day, Narada(celestial disciple) asks Krishna “who loves you the most?”. Narada, being such a devout disciple expects him to say his name. However, Krishna says, “Radha loves me the most.” Narada cannot believe this since Radha is just a milkmaid, not even his wife or worshipper of Krishna.

Some time later, Narada goes to Krishna’s home to visit him. He finds Krishna lying down in pain due to a headache. Narada can’t bear to see him in that way and asks him what he can do to help. Krishna smiles and says there is nothing he can do for him. He must bear the pain himself. However, Narada keeps insisting, so finally Krishna says, “fine, the only way you can relieve my pain is by wiping the dust from your feet and rubbing it on my forehead”. This shocks Narada because he knows it’s a grave sin to disrespect Krishna and there is no way he can do that, as it would lead to karmic retribution. Later on Krishna’s wife Rukmini comes to him in deep sadness for his pain and tells him she would do anything to alleviate it. Krishna tells her the only way is to take the dirt from her feet and rub it on his forehead. She also cannot do that, Krishna being not only a god but also her own husband. It would be considered highly disrespectful. Then, Sathyabhama comes over and she also faces the same dilemma. Finally Radha comes to see Krishna and he tells her the same thing. Radha, without hesitating, takes the dust from her feet to rub on his forehead. Krishna is instantly relieved and cured. Krishna looks at Narada and says “you see, it is Radha who loves me the most!”.

Basically, the story goes to show that Narada being a disciple of Krishna, expects some kind spiritual growth when worshipping him. Whether its material wealth or spiritual wealth, whenever we pray we want or expect something from god.

Whereas Radha’s love for Krishna is so unconditional and pure that she didn’t care even for her own spiritual destruction or karma. She loves him so wholly and selflessly that she expects nothing from him. Although she does not explicitly worship or pray to him, her heart is filled with so much of love for him that her every breath and action becomes a prayer. For that, she has a permanent place in Krishna’s heart.

This story really touched me and I remembered it again after a long time today. In the skit, I played one of his wives… Rukmini I think. 😅

However I can’t seem to trace it from anywhere! Does anybody know what the original source of this story is or the right version?

Merhaba Internetten Halki

Neden sen türkçe konuşmaya başladın?!
Gizli bir Türk sevgilin var mi?
Türkiye'ye taşincek misin?
...yoksa sen tamamen deli mi?

Yok annem! sakin ol! ben deli değilim.
Gerceklik? Benim çok fazla zamanim var...


So I have been learning Turkish for the past few months. 
And it all started when I came across this show called 'Al Yazmalim'(or The Girl with the Red Scarf). It was this romantic drama about two young people from the Turkish countryside. The show was alright plot wise, but somehow, I found myself getting hooked to it.
Eventually I got up to episode three I think, before 'Gaaspp, no more subtitles'. I was watching it on Youtube and could not find subtitles ANYWHERE after the third episode, which if you ask me, is probably the most evil thing that someone could do.
I mean if I had known that there were only subtitles until the third episode I wouldn't have started watching in the first place! Now how do I get to know what happened to Asiye and Ilyas? If they were torn apart by their family or did they finally get together?
After contemplating the situation, I came to the obvious conclusion that all that was left for me to do is to learn Turkish. So I went on Duolingo and have been hacking away at it for a few months now. 
I've also gotten hooked on other Turkish TV shows. My favorite by far is 'Kara Para Aşk'.It has suspense, romance, crime and drama.. the whole works. I've finished watching the entire series and I absolutely loved it. Ne harika bir dizi! Cok sevdim! And recently I've started watching 'Babacan Dir' which is lighter and more of a rom-com. 
Turkish culture is quite similar to Indian culture and its language similar to Indian languages yet their TV shows are about a billion times better.
As far as learning Turkish goes, I have progressed a lot, but my goal is to be able to watch and understand the show without subtitles.
I did that with the pakistani show 'Zindagi Gulzar hai' and was surprised to find that I understood Urdu.. 

So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen

No, I’m not actually going anywhere. But Its that time of year again! You know.. the end of the academic year. For me, the end of my B.Tech days. The end of four years of the drama that comes as part and parcel of being an engineering student in India.

Its also the time of tearful goodbyes, bear hugs(even that random guy in your class you spoke to once in your lifetime), farewell pictures with vintage-y filters and extra-long posts on Facebook detailing your nostalgia and proclaiming the everlasting bond you share with your friends.

Something along the lines of…

What an awsum 4 yrs of dosti, masti, freindship, love and hartbreakk! I can not forget all the crazy stuffs we been through and highs and lows shared with my bestieeeees < 3 < 3!! Yea guys, ve can never get this time back..gonna remember dis COLLEGE DAYS for rest of our lyf!! I’ll nvr forget this place… our sweet home… though many complaints LOL (bintuu)!!! 😉 we are finally ‘engineers’ LOL we did it guys!!!! Ve all gonna be friends 4 lyf.. mwwahhh. I am missing this alreadyy.. I will treasure dese special moments and just remember guyss.. no regrets! All of us will be busy with our lives and stress over jobs and and career and dose times we will look back at our college days and it will put a smile on our face.  :-)#farewelll #finalyear #missing scene’s#collegelyf #friendship #engineers #bestieees #BFFFFsss #letsrock and so on and so forth…

Now its all “yes lets totally be friends forever, we are definitely going to keep in touch(duh) because theres email and facebook and whatsapp and skype, definitely going to have an awesome reunion every year no matter how busy we are with  our lives and it will be awesome and at some point take a trip around the world and we are going to kill it at your wedding and you are totally going to be my future childrens’ godparent.”

Give me a break. I’ve heard it all.

Around two months later, you get a notification from facebook saying its your classmate’s birthday. Oh yea. them. Better go send out the customary ‘Happy Birthday [insert smiley emoji]’ message, only to get a reply going ‘wait.. who are you again?’.

I’m not saying we whitewash and sugarcoat everything but suddenly its like those teachers who literally tortured us? They weren’t all that bad…In fact lets all sing ‘To sir, with love’.

That time we got suspended for protesting over gross mistreatment by management ? That was great ‘character building’.

And those rats that were running around in the hostel mess? They were more like our pets really.

Even though I may not get all sentimental and sappy (I can’t say it was the best time of my life) I must say that overall, it has been a crucial time period for me. Crazy shit has done down. True. And in the process I have learned a lot about myself. I’m happy because its also a new beginning. Working as an intern, trying to figure out what I’m going to do with myself, also going to be moving out, and for the first time.. trying to be a legit adult. Will see how this goes.

So heres a hearty farewell to what has been an eventful chapter in my life. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen. Cheers.

 

That being said, here is a rendition of To Sir, With Love.

 

 

 

I am like a bird.. I will soar across oceans.
Oceans of joy as well as oceans of misery.

I am a wolf.. I will be wild and free.
I will be fierce.I will be me. Nothing can hold me back or tie me down or keep me grounded.
I am as light as a will’ o the wisp. I am joy. I am love.

I was going through some old stuff and I found this writing in a book. Its something I wrote a while back. I was very frustrated and emotional when I wrote this. Its funny becasue I didn’t have a clue about writing poems, its messy. I think I just took a pen started writing; channeled all my frsustration and anger.

I feel discouraged when you taunt me
The words you speak cut me like sharpened knives
and suddenly I feel so small
Like a dandelion in the desert
Swept away with a single blow
But there is something you don’t know

I feel broken when you taunt me
The words you speak cut me like sharpened knives
And suddenly I feel so small
Like a fledgeling that can’t fly
Like a broken reecord
But there is something you don’t know

I feel broken when you taunt me
The words you speak cut me like sharpened knives
And suddenly I feel so small
Like dirt on the sole of the shoe
Like a pebble in a brook

You can taunt me all you want
But there is something you don’t know
I love you more than I let on
So this one time I’ll let it go

My Top 5 Favorite Fantasy Heroines

I’m not exactly a feminist but it  gets suffocating to see the hunky alpha male always saving the day with a bimbo on the side. However, there have been some truly kickass female characters out there and I feel like 2013 has been the year of the female figure, not only in literature, but in music, movies and TV shows as well. Since I love fantasy I thought I’d list out my top 5 favorite fantasy heroines. Obviously these are not the only awesome fantasy heroines out there. I chose my favorite from pop culture.

Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

Katniss bravely volunteers in the place of her sister in the Hunger Games. She faces her fears head on and is protective of those she loves. I admire her courage in standing up for herself and the way she is willing to risk her life for her family and her district. Whether its the Hunger Games or taking on the Capitol, in the end against all odds, she wins. When it comes to the romance department however, she is the most awkward person ever not so lucky always. She is stubborn and hardworking and also great with the bow and arrow.

Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

The reason I like Hermione is because not only is she smart but she is also caring about the little things and compassionate about lost causes, like her campaign to free the house elves. Also, she is adventurous and not afraid to take risks. She is always curious and as a result stumbles on the dangerous things. i.e. the forbidden section of the library. She makes nerds seem so badass. How can you not like her? Smart, brave and loyal, Hermione is sharp and always sticks up for her friends. Even if it might get her killed. Or worse. Expelled. 

Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones)

From a fearful and docile little girl roaming the Free Cities to Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, Queen of the Andals, Rhoynar and the First Men. Dany is, at first, constantly pushed down by others, especially her brother. But later on, discovers herself and builds real confidence. She can be kind and warm but also cold as ice when required (she doesn’t take shit from anyone). All in all she is one badass queen.

Clary Fray (The Mortal Instruments)

She may not be the best idol but this kickass ginger shadowhunter girl is a lot better than many of the fantasy novel heroines. The main reason I like Clary is her sarcasm. She always has the right quips for whatever Jace or anyone else throws at her. She is really stubborn and when she wants something, she does everything she can to accomplish it. She puts herself in danger (albeit sometimes needlessly) in order to do what she feels is right in her heart. She is also super artistic and expresses herself with a lot of depth.

Michonne (The Walking Dead)

The no nonsense, zombie splicing, katana wielding surviver from The Walking Dead; Michonne is caring and loyal yet deadly. She is a seemingly complex and mysterious character with a dark past. I admire her resourcefulness and general cool headedness. She also has a very keen sense of intuition about things. When everyone else is losing their minds, she is the only person that makes sense. Less words, more action. Also she is pretty good at cracking zombie skulls.